Introduction: What is My Aloof Vagina?

My Aloof Vagina was born out of a surprise when I was about 50 years old. I reconnected with someone and began having sex again after several years of no sex and was really surprised because everything was a little different and I had no symptoms that I knew of perimenopause. I now realize there were SO MANY warning signs and I was already in it, but I didn't know. And this sex experience was the first time that I thought, oh my gosh, my body's changed. I was really surprised by the lack of response. So I went Googling like crazy to figure out what was going on because I was really motivated to be having a good time. And I also was mortified that my trusty companion, my vagina, was totally turning on me. The whole thing had changed and I didn't think much about it when it started, but I hadn't really had sex in years, I hadn't had great since my early forties. So here I was being surprised by, an unexpected. interaction. And although it was fun, because it was exciting and I DID have an orgasm.(Woo-hoo!) My response was not as, I'd remembered, it just wasn't as enthusiastic. I couldn't have an orgasm with intercourse, which used to be a mainstay. And it just kind of surprised me and I was alarmed. So, after trying to figure out why things felt different, I learned about something called Clitoral Atrophy, which freaked me out. And I almost had a heart attack and thought, "Oh my gosh! I didn't know I was in perimenopause!" I hadn't done the things I'm supposed to be doing. There's a long list of things you're supposed to do to prevent it. It's like I'd forgotten all about use it or lose it. And I had let myself ATROPHY! Degrade. Age. And some of the things I read talked about how it, you might not be able to recover, all of these things. So I was spinning out and I went into a very deep dive on perimenopause and menopause and hormones and Clitoral Atrophy and vaginal atrophy and all of these things. because I felt betrayed, you know, that my trusty companion, my vagina, that had served me so well over the years now had turned on me and she was totally like [using gravelly voice], "Is that all he's got? I mean, you might as well be alone!" Like, she was definitely not happy and not playing along. And, you know, my brain was involved and my heart was involved and I was very wanting him to feel like everything was wonderful. And she was ambushing me in the bedroom.[using gravelly voice]"Why is he even here?" Like, it was just definitely a situation that, was giving me angst. So. I followed all of the threads. I started telling my friends. My friends were alarmed about Clitoral Atrophy as well. Clitoral Atrophy, which we now call C.A., is kind of like the trademark affliction. It's the one that got everybody's attention because we'd all heard about hot flashes. Everyone had heard about weight gain and night sweats bitchiness, there were these things we hadn't heard about. And you may or may not have experienced some of them, but some things I experienced and did not know they were related to impending menopause. I did not know experiences I had issues in my forties probably were perimenopause. I had had a fibroid situation that probably was related. No one called it out when I had the surgery and dealt with all that stuff. But then my recovery was kind of challengingand had all the hallmarks of perimenopause, no one ever mentioned it. There are aroma changes that I didn't know about, like halitosis. There are dental changes, there's eye dryness, there are phantom smells, there are all of these things and quite commonly emotional disturbances and depressions. So, the more I learned about it, the more I was sharing podcasts and articles and things with my friends and the more they would reach out to me and say, "I don't wanna read this. It's alarming/depressing/too sciencey. Just you explain it to me and make me laugh about it." And so that's how this came to be My Aloof Vagina is the next logical step for what was basically my ongoing sex ed for my friends with voice memo. conversations over mimosas or margaritas and long, hilarious emails back and forth. And the more I shared, the more my friends shared. And the more we discussed it, the more we realized that there is more and more information available, but sometimes it's not really fun to learn about it that way. So we thought we'd share how we learned about it and we'd share as we learned about it. Because there's more to come around every corner as a new...surprise. We'll call 'em Surprises. New Surprises about the next stage of the hormonal journey. So that's what we're talking about. don't want you to be ambushed in the bedroom or to feel like something's wrong with you like I did. And so I thought I would share what we learned and we thought maybe you could come along for the ride and maybe you might have things you wanna share with us that will help us find out even more. So if that sounds good to you, if you need this information, you've come to the right place.